Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
