Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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