Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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