I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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