but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize