Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
