The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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