I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
