dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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