I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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