Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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