Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?