My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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