Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
