did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
