yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
