i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
