Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize