I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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