dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
