My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
