cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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