.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
