So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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