why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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