Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
