I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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