Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You've changed since you got that strap on
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The air taste purple.
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