You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
