this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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