I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize