Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
