My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
