Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize