I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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