i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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