yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
soo... how was my night?
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