Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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