god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize