I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
