What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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