Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
