new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
