I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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