I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
