Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
