Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
