People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
