a search helicopter?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
