apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize