No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Randomize
