i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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