Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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