mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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