Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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