you would pick up someone in the library
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
