i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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