ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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