I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
