let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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