what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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